So this is what divorce feels like

I’m sitting at the kitchen table angry, confused, disillusioned.

How did this happen? To me? To us?

I’m sick to my stomach. Something sour sits in my throat. I’m sweating one minute then shaking and shivering the next.

The house is achingly quiet.

I want to talk to somebody yet I long to be alone. I want to break something yet I want someone to hug me, tell me everything will be ok. The last few weeks have been an absolute nightmare. I’m a shell of what I use to be  and I’m teetering on the edge of absolute annihilation.

Staring into my lap I think to myself…So this is what divorce feels like?

(Oh, BTW…This has nothing to do with Cindy and I. We’re fine. Really. In fact, we’ve never been better. We went to Applebee’s last night. Shared a 2 for $20 dinner. She had the Oriental salad. I had the ribs. It was lovely. )

No, I’m talking about the divorce that is happening in America right now.

We have two candidates who hate each other. A hatred that has divided our stately house. On a nightly basis, they mock, ridicule and seeking to embarrass each other in front of us. Like a divorcing couple, each attempting to prove their righteousness to win the vote, the affection of their bleary-eyed children.

I’ve never been divorced and my parents have married for close to 40 years. But from what I’ve read and heard, enduring a parental divorce is often a war of attrition. An inescapable stress-filled saga that shows no sign of stopping–like this political season.

(In fact, I shudder to turn the TV knowing at some point I’ll be forced to watch in A Clockwork Orange  style, a series of unsettling commercials about each candidate.)

clockwork
Yep… this is what it feels like to watch TV in America right now.

Sadly, it’s the children that are most affected by divorce. It’s the children that will spend years repairing their psyches once the divorce is finalized. The good news is, our divorce will be finalized on November 8th. The bad news is, it will take us years to recover. If we ever do recover.

After Tuesday, even though the animosity will remain the public fighting will subside, the acceptance process will begin and TV should be great again. However, we will be forced to live with one of the candidates. Hopefully, the losing candidate doesn’t request visitation rights.

Be well,

Jay

 

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