Category: Other

Be a donkey: Meeting Tim O’Brien… again


Be a donkey: Meeting Tim O’Brien…again If you have been reading for a while you know my affinity for novelist Tim O’Brien. His masterwork, The Things They Carried, taught me more about the power of storytelling, the profoundness of language, the danger of absolute truth than any other work. For 14 years I have taught […]

Surviving shame: Learning to forgive yourself


Surviving shame: Learning to forgive yourself How do you survive shame? Forgive yourself. To gather research for my book I’ve been interviewing young men and asking, “Do you practice self-forgiveness?” After 62 interviews, 59 men interview said, “No.” When I asked why not, the most common two answers were: they were ashamed to they had […]

My wife (and Bill Belichick) taught me something this week


My wife (and Bill Belichick) taught me something this week This school year has been a change for both Cindy and our children. The children started at a new school and, after 17 years at one school, Cindy moved on and accepted a teaching position at a new school. The children have transitioned nicely. They’re […]

I turned 39.5 this week so I made a list of 39.5 things I still think are awesome


I turned 39.5 this week so I made a list of 39.5 things I still think are still awesome The other day Cindy kindly informed me that in 6 months I’ll turn 40. “You’re officially 39 and a half!” Like a piece of pound cake before bed, the thought sank and sat in my stomach […]

Perspective: To grow in soul


Perspective: To grow in soul The speaker of Thomas Hardy’s poem “The Man He Killed” is a soldier who recalls killing an enemy soldier and realizes had they met under different circumstances they would probably share a drink and a story or two. The speaker hesitates, repeats himself, talks in circles as he tries to […]

It’s the response that matters


It’s the response thatĀ matters It was a tradition of sorts. In the initial months following my diagnosis, after each doctor’s appointment, I would go to the bar Given my deteriorating health, a few pints, and a plate of fried pickles was not the most constructive response, but sometimes nothing soothes a fractured soul like the […]

Meditation for men who don’t own yoga pants


Meditation for men who don’t own yoga pants September doesn’t stop. I told you last week how busy life is right now and how all this busyness has caused a lostness and this lostness makes me feel powerless. Lately, it feels like I’m just riding the September wave, tightening my jaw, gritting my teeth, hoping […]

To be found again


To be found again It’s September 11, 2019 and I’m 39. I’m in my writing room–writing– because that’s what I do and because the last few days have been hard. My children started at a new school. Cindy started a new job. And I am back in the classroom teaching. Our schedules are packed with […]

Happy Diagnosis-versary! Why you should celebrate your worse day


Happy Diagnosis-versary! Why you should celebrate your worst day An MRI on September 4, 2013 revealed my brain damage. If you have been reading write on fight on for awhile you know all about my broken brain and I don’t want to bore you. And if you’re visit me for the first time–what took you […]

Designing an extraordinary life (or what I learned on summer vacation)


Designing an extraordinary life (or what I learned on summer vacation) My summer began with a wedding and ended with a funeral. And life happened between. But isn’t that how life goes? Life is dog-eared, for better or worse, with big moments. Big moments that we cut and paste into a mental a scrap book […]