Month: September 2018

Your life is a story. For my friend, a hero...who is lost.


Your life is a story. A story played by three familiar characters: The hero The hero is brave and courageous. Not always but on most days they try.  The hero embraces their weaknesses and vulnerability. They pursue passions. And listen. And forgive. They enjoy people. Talking and laughing and shouldering life with people.  The hero, […]

It was both funny and painful to watch. "Everything hurts."


Three days after the race and Cindy is walking as if she has a pair of wooden legs. “Everything hurts. My legs, my back, my ribs.” I stand at the kitchen sink and watch Cindy open the cabinet, reach for a glass, and wince. She draws a breath. “I should’ve trained for the race.” She […]

The race I did not run.


On June 2nd I marked September 23rd on my calendar. On September 23rd I planned to run my first 5k. An act of defiance of sorts. Defying both body and brain. Proving that I could physically and mentally triumph over 5 years of living with cerebellar ataxia, sarcoidosis, nystagmas, enlarged lymph nodes, vertigo, muscle spasms, […]

Health Update: It's a migraine but it's complicated


On Monday a neurologist diagnosed me with a lingering migraine. Dizziness, nausea, stabbing headaches, sensitivity to light are symptoms aligned with a migraine. This is the first time I have been diagnosed with a migraine. The neurologist ordered some blood work and issued prescriptions for a brain MRI to see if the cerebellum has further […]

The small moments have been the hardest The vertigo has been in my brain for 5 weeks


I’m lying on my back on the floor, staring at the ceiling, and I’m afraid to move. The vertigo has been in my brain for 5 weeks. And though symptoms have subsided enough for me to function, I still feel like I’m falling off a cliff every time I sit up or roll to my […]

September 11, 2001 What I remember...


I was in no immediate danger. Just a college senior, 100 miles away, sleeping his way through a philosophy of education class when the buildings exploded. Our old professor finally couldn’t find the words. He just pointed and said go and I found myself in a courtyard standing with the other faces in a loose […]

Vertigo: A Month Later Learning from defeat


On August 9th the living room would not stop spinning. Lying down, sitting or standing it doesn’t matter. It was as if I’m strapped in a Tilt-a-Whirl. Closing my eyes helps a little. The spinning gets to my stomach but I’m hungry but I don’t want to eat. I feel like throwing up. I double […]

Happy Diagnosis-versary! Why I celebrate my worst day


For the second year in a row I’m celebrating my worst day– September 4, 2013 with a homemade chocolate cake topped with vanilla icing and one of Springsteen’s most badass lines “Ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive.” In fact, I made the same cake last year however, I’d like to believe this year’s […]