WriteOnFightOn book,Life Lessons A book update, a health update…

A book update, a health update… and apparently I'm looking good these days



A book update, a health update…and apparently I’m looking good these days


I’m extremely lucky to have an amazing network of people who are supporting my book effort.

Since Monday I’ve received emails and messages of support. People have gifted me books, suggested books, recommended people to interview, and someone even offered to edit my book.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And since I don’t have a good transition here we go…

I saw my neurologist the other day and he said I looked so much better then I did six months ago (Which I’m kind of upset nobody told me I looked like shit six months ago).

“What do you mean I look better?”

“You look happier. Less stressed. Like a weight was lifted off your shoulders.”

Now it could be a total coincidence but the day before my appointment I told you I was writing a book for young suburban males (ages 16-24) about why young suburban males are committing suicide at alarming rates ( the highest of any demographic) and how we can help these “privileged” young men from self-destruction and after I told you about my book, I’ll admit, I felt lighter.

As if some weight I’ve been carrying around for years had been lifted off my shoulders.

In the past few days I’ve interviewed 25 suburban males ranging from 16 to 18 years old. They all expressed how acceptance is very important to them. All who, by geography and gender, have been gifted two socially important attributes of acceptance– they’re socioeconomic status (middle to upper financial class) and they’re male.

Yet our conversations continually crossed the subject of “the need for validation.”

What I find interesting about the suburban young male demographic, this in-group, is already validated. And yet they all expressed a serious fear of being unaccepted and having their problems and voice marginalized.

No matter the geography or gender–we all want to validation. We want our ideas and values and ourselves to be accepted.

Yet when we look at the young suburban male we often dismiss their need for validation because their already validated. And when these males seek validation we often see and hear them as whiny and ungrateful.

The neurologist did say he does recognize a slight dysathia (difficulty pronouncing certain sounds and words) in my voice. And it’s true. Certain sounds and words are a challenge for me–a result of my brain damage. Like my tongue lacks coordination.

This is interesting because my research is pointing to how young suburban males often fail to talk, about their mental health, about their flaws and vulnerabilities because they fear be misunderstood or look weak or told they should stop complaining because they are the “in-group”, they are the suburban male– they have no reason to complain.

And so we don’t. And we suffer silence. We’ve been conditioned to think our problems are not worthy problems. So we often ignore them until they boil something nasty inside.

Though still in its infancy, I wanted to share some of my research with you and also let you know the my doctor’s appointment went really well and that I look much better than I did six months ago.

Be well,

Jay

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