Training Session #44- July 25: Loss is growth
In 2013 I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis, an autoimmune disorder that chewed a hole in my cerebellum, atrophied various muscles, impaired my vision, balance, coordination and consequently stole my confidence and my ability to run. I have dedicated the summer of 2018 to regaining my strength, coordination, balance, and relearning how to run. I am participating in a 5k run on September 23rd in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This is my training journal.
This is my attempt to grow physically and mentally strong again.
Write on. Fight on.
The previous training sessions can be found here, under “Fight on- Summer Training Log”
5:56 am – 6:40 am
Outdoor- light rain , 73 degrees
No hurry. No pause.
Jogging/walking intervals- 2.2 miles
Completing the 2.2 miles in a personal best time– 40:35.
Quote I’m Thinking About Today:
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~Lao Tzu
Marcus Aurelius reminds us loss is nothing more than change.
How simple is Roman emperor’s perspective– the loss of anyone or anything is merely a circumstance that assesses your human ability to recalibrate your life.
But loss is hard.In fact, loss is the most difficult experience we humans endure.
Yet, our ability to change, in the wake of crushing loss, ultimately stimulates our ability to grow.
From The Previous Training Session- July 23: One negative thought
The other day I was standing in the check out line at the supermarket ease dropping on the woman behind me.
She was telling the person on the other end of the phone how bad her kids are, how selfish her husband is, how corrupt the government is, and how expensive everything in the supermarket is. As I looked at her shopping cart full of food, I shook my head and laughed.
Things go wrong. Absolutely. And when one thing goes wrong we have a tendency to think everything is going wrong.
When I first got sick I didn’t have the maturity to compartmentalize my illness. Sure I was (and still am) sick but my illness is no one’s fault. And no amount of anger, resentment, or spitefulness will regenerate my atrophied cerebellar. My brain is damaged…so it goes.
When your life is compromised, the easiest thing to do is let one negative infest all your thoughts and blind you to the shopping cart full of food that you’re about to buy.