In 2013 I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis, an autoimmune disorder that chewed a hole in my cerebellum, atrophied various muscles, impaired my vision, balance, coordination and consequently stole my confidence and my ability to run. I have dedicated the summer of 2018 to regaining my strength, coordination, balance, and relearning how to run. I am participating in a 5k run on September 23rd in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This is my training journal.
This is my attempt to grow physically and mentally strong again.
Write on. Fight on.
The previous training sessions can be found here, under “Fight on- Summer Training Log”
7:03 am – 8:07 am
Outdoor-82 degrees, wind & rain
No hurry. No pause.
Jogging/walking interval – 1 hour and 4 minutes
Quote I’m Thinking About Today:
“Only those who risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go.”
Today I trained in the driving Florida rain. At first, standing in the doorway, watching the rain fall I entertained excuses:
It’s raining too hard to go outside. I don’t want to get wet. How will I dry my sneakers?
49 days of training and most mornings I entertain excuses. In fact, the first step out the front door is always the hardest.
The first step requires more mental stamina and more introspection then all other steps:
Do I have the guts to seize control of my own life? Do I have the courage to push myself in spite of doubts and fears? What if it hurts? Do I have the capacity to endure? Do I trust myself?
I plugged in my headphones, took a deep breath, and stepped out into the rain.
But it wasn’t easy. First steps never are.
From The Previous Training Session: That was then, this is now (July 31st)
On July 31, 2015 I published my first post on writeonfighton.org, a little post of strategies on how to avoid stressing over the college application essay.
Today, July 31, 2018 I published this reflection on today’s training session in which I walked/jogged a personal best 3.01 miles.
Reading old posts is like flipping through a photo album. Snapshots of who you were, what you were thinking, what you dreamed you might be and even, how little you knew.
I don’t recall what happened on July 31, 2015. Yet I do know I was dependent on high milligrams of steroids and ibuprofen to see me through the day. I know my joints and muscles ached and were weak. And know I was fearing tomorrow. Fearing a life reliant on medication.
But that was then and this now.
Today, I physically pushed myself harder then I have in 48 previous training sessions.
Today, I will not take a steroid or ibuprofen to ease my pain.
Today, I take pride in my health.
Today, I look forward to tomorrow.