Tag: christmas

Surviving Christmas: Lessons from Clark W. Griswold Jr.


Hosting Christmas is often a cinnamon-baked decathlon of stress and anxiety. There’s a million things to do. After work you grind through traffic to Target. You park miles away. You hustle across a frozen parking lot. You stop to catch your breath at the closest shopping cart corral. You promise to stop eating so many […]

I don’t think my daughter believes in Santa Claus anymore


Christmas morning is a great moment in parenting history. The excitement. The smiles. Your children jumping and dancing and rejoicing because Santa Claus is real and he was really listening to their wishes and he was really watching as them clean their room, share their toys and muscle down broccoli all year long. There’s wrapping […]

Santa Claus is a Drug Dealer


My children are drug addicts. Little blue-eyed, bed-wetting drug addicts. It’s 9:30 pm and Cindy and I are staring at them gaunt-eyed and almost drooling as they buzz around the living room like carpenter bees on crack. Over the next ten minutes either Cindy or I (at this point I don’t know who) bark the […]