On Friday, December 28th I begin vestibular rehabilatation therapy again.

My first experience with VRT was in the winter of 2014 at the St. Lawrence Rehabilitation Center.

The physical goals this time are:

1. to improve balance
2. to improve motor skills
3. strengthen core muscles
4. strengthen legs
5. prepare my body to run again

The emotional goals are:

1. to refocus on my well-being
2. to regain confidence
3. to strengthen my will

If you’ve been reading Write on Fight on for awhile you’re probably aware of how I taught myself to run again, trained to run a 5k in September, only to become stricken with migraines and vertigo, forcing me to miss running in the 5k.

Not running the 5k, being sent to the ER with migraines, dealing with daily bouts of vertigo has been hard.

Since August I’ve been trapped in what feels like a holding pattern–getting soft and worrying if this is the beginning of the physical downward spiral that I so fear.

This worry, coupled with anxiety,  has gnawed holes through my toughness and will.

For the last few months I’ve been just waiting, hoping things would get better.

But you and I know things rarely get better their own. We know that hope without action is a fruitless waste of energy.

We know that in order to change we must be willing to engage.

And we know that when we don’t know what to do– we often do nothing.

Inside this moral freeze are worlds of worry and self-doubt.  These are the worlds I’ve been stumbling through since August.

Two weeks ago I saw my neurologist and he wrote a script for VRT. For two weeks I’ve been thinking about that script the way you think about starting a hard but necessary conversation.

This morning I finally called a near-by rehabilitation center and told the receptionist that I had a doctor’s script for VRT. I told her I have cerebellar atrophy and vertigo and nystagmus and prone to migraines.

She told me there was an opening tomorrow at 8 am.

Before replying, I thought about how I’ve told you to stay positive and keep trying. I thought about how I always tell my children that frustration is fine but quitting is unacceptable.

I took the appointment.

She told me to come in around 7:45 am to fill out paperwork.

“Okay. I’ll be there.”

Wish me luck.

If this is my last post of 2018, I want to thank you for the continued support and accepting my story into your life. In the past year I’ve been contacted by an array of people who follow my blog. It’s been such an awesome experience sharing my story with you.

In 2019, I wish you the courage to start something new, something that will fill your soul, something you’ve been meaning to do for awhile but keep putting off.

I’d love for you to reply to this post and tell me what you’re planning to begin in 2019. Your story gives me strength.

And remember–life favors the brave.

Be well,

Jay

PS- one of my goals of 2019 is to reach and connect with more people.

If you could reply to this email and tell me one thing you plan to start in 2019 that would be awesome. And if you could forward this post to someone you think would enjoy my story and message that would be doubly awesome.

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Happy New Year!