On the morning of Cindy and I’s 19th wedding anniversary, I finished reading Sarah Bakewell’s How to Live or The Life of Montaigne. The biography explores the life and writings of one of the 16th century’s most innovative thinkers and interesting men Michel de Montaigne.

Our 19th wedding anniversary was a busy calendar square marked with times of Chase and Dylan’s soccer camps, Haley’s dentist appointment and her work hours.

No where, not even squeezed into our family’s perfect calendar square corner was something handwritten like “Candlelit dinner on the beach under a full moon with Michael Buble’ serenading.” And under that something printed like, “confirm with Michael Buble’.” And under that is something scribbled like, “get candles.”

Michel de Montaigne was a French Renaissance writer whose essays are considered to be among the greatest literary works ever. He wrote about a lot of stuff–from politics to his penis–but one of my favorite subjects was what he thought about being imperfect. Montaigne believed that “wisdom begins” when we accept our imperfections instead of trying to fix them.

“Our being is cemented with sickly qualities…whoever should remove the seeds of these qualities from man would destroy the fundamental conditions of our life”~~ Michel de Montaigne

How to Live reminds me that being human and being open with genuine wholeheartedness matters as much as any ideal. If we can accept ourselves for who we are, with all our imperfections, we can be more compassionate and loving to others.

19 years of marriage, 3 children, and 1 incurable brain disease taught me that– not only learning to accept imperfections– but learning to live with imperfections is the only way human connections are deepened and personal potential is achieved.

And I believe true love, in all its forms, is never deterred or swayed or angered by imperfections. In fact, imperfections strengthen love. By accepting our imperfections, allows us to accept other people’s imperfections. And if we can do this, we can love.

And if we can love, we can hope.

And if we can hope, we might just find ourselves on a beach under a full moon, in a candle’s glow, holding hands with someone we love, listening to Michael Buble’s velvety voice.

Be well,

Jay

More musings on marriage…Here’s the chapter “When I Think of Love I Think of Mike Tyson” from my book Ordinary Hero. 

Book Sale Link

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One Line, One Love Episode 25: Writer’s Toolbox– Roundabouts for Roadblocks

Description: In this episode, Gail and Jay discuss how to overcome writer’s block and other challenges that can keep you from getting your writing done. They talk about writing downhill, which is a way of getting started writing when you don’t feel like it. They also talk about building up your writing stamina and the power of patiently waiting. If you’re an everyday writer who wants to learn how to be more resilient and agile, this episode is a must-listen!

OLOL is a unique listening and reading experience that will inspire everyday writers, who dream of writing, to pick up their pens and write one line at a time.

This podblog format (a hybrid of a podcast and blog) is for everyday writers who–like me–often need a creative boost, a scrap of encouragement, and practical advice to unleash the writer within. Each episode consists of five wide-ranging, writer-focused questions and a weekly writing prompt.

Please check it out! And please share with any writer friends or anyone in your life who has ever considered picking up the pen.

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Warm greetings to everyone who found me on the University of Pennsylvania’s Ataxia Clinic’s website! Thanks for stopping by. I have ataxia and though I’m not a doctor, I hope my words comfort, encourage, empower, and serve as good company on your journey.

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Jay Armstrong is a speaker and an award-winning author. Despite being diagnosed with a rare neurological disease, that impairs his movement, balance, eyesight, and speech–Jay presses on. The leader of the Philadelphia Ataxia Support Group, he hopes to help you find joy, peace, and meaning in life.