Thank you for connecting with me and what we did for my wife on her 40th birthday

The last four posts have been hard to write.

Yet writing about the death of one of my students has been cathartic.

It has helped me to embrace loss, gain perspective, ask big questions, and appreciate the things in my life that bring joy.

I want to thank everyone who has continued reading, liking, and sharing my posts. Some of you even reached out to tell me your thinking not just about me but the students (which you probably have never met) and that’s just awesome.

In a graceful attempt to transition from death to life, I want to tell you Cindy celebrated her 40th birthday this week:

Since she didn’t want to go out for a birthday dinner (and we were under a tornado watch), we had a simple spaghetti dinner at home where the kids and I took turns announcing 40 things we appreciate and love about her.

Her smile.

Her hugs.

Her support.

Her willingness to listen.

Her brownies.

Etc., Etc., Etc.,

We laughed. Cindy cried. And we celebrate. Together.

It’s undeniable–human connection brings loss and pain. Our greatest sufferings come from the connections we have made, try to make, or fail to make.

We hurt each other. We leave each other. We ruin each other.

But our connections provide profound meaning. It’s our relationships where the greatest joys and learnings happen.

I know sometimes when people hurt us or leave us–we hurt. And in these painful moments we ask ourselves– “is it worth connecting?”

The answer is always– yes.

We are social animals. Connecting is what separates us from the ferrets.

We may not openly admit it, or even want to, but we need people. And understanding this truth is both sobering and terrifying because people hurt us.  People leave us.

It would’ve been easy for me to not start a blog and write to you every week. I’m sure both of our lives would have been fine without Write on Fight on.

But four years ago I had to yearning to connect. To discover if there was someone out there feeling like I feel.

So I spoke and you listened and we connected.

People can be difficult to deal with. They confuse, frustrate, and enrage us. They belittle us and damage us beyond repair. They make us question our self-worth.

Yet life becomes painfully hallow if we don’t try to connect.

Because it is our connections that bring us true joy.

However, there might be another reason why you choose not to connect with people:

Maybe you’re feeling like inadequate. That you do not deserve connection. Or that no one wants your connection.

But let me remind you–

You’re reading this.

Which means you’re listening to me.

Which means we’re connecting.

And your connection means a lot to means to me right now.

Be well,

Jay

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