Tag: writeonfighton

Be the hero of your own story


Be the hero of your own story Your life is a story. A story played by three familiar characters: The hero The hero is brave and courageous. Not always but on most days they try.¬† The hero embraces their weaknesses and vulnerability. They pursue passions. And listen. And forgive. They enjoy people. Talking and laughing […]

Be a donkey: Meeting Tim O’Brien… again


Be a donkey: Meeting Tim O’Brien…again If you have been reading for a while you know my affinity for novelist Tim O’Brien. His masterwork, The Things They Carried, taught me more about the power of storytelling, the profoundness of language, the danger of absolute truth than any other work. For 14 years I have taught […]

The Happy Place


The Happy Place The other day I heard someone say they can’t wait to leave here and get to their happy place. “Where is your happy place?” I asked. “A beach far away from here.” We all want to change how we feel. However, we convince ourselves that the good feelings we seek are out […]

Surviving shame: Learning to forgive yourself


Surviving shame: Learning to forgive yourself How do you survive shame? Forgive yourself. To gather research for my book I’ve been interviewing young men and asking, “Do you practice self-forgiveness?” After 62 interviews, 59 men interview said, “No.” When I asked why not, the most common two answers were: they were ashamed to they had […]

My wife (and Bill Belichick) taught me something this week


My wife (and Bill Belichick) taught me something this week This school year has been a change for both Cindy and our children. The children started at a new school and, after 17 years at one school, Cindy moved on and accepted a teaching position at a new school. The children have transitioned nicely. They’re […]

I turned 39.5 this week so I made a list of 39.5 things I still think are awesome


I turned 39.5 this week so I made a list of 39.5 things I still think are still awesome The other day Cindy kindly informed me that in 6 months I’ll turn 40. “You’re officially 39 and a half!” Like a piece of pound cake before bed, the thought sank and sat in my stomach […]

Perspective: To grow in soul


Perspective: To grow in soul The speaker of Thomas Hardy’s poem “The Man He Killed” is a soldier who recalls killing an enemy soldier and realizes had they met under different circumstances they would probably share a drink and a story or two. The speaker hesitates, repeats himself, talks in circles as he tries to […]

It’s the response that matters


It’s the response that¬†matters It was a tradition of sorts. In the initial months following my diagnosis, after each doctor’s appointment, I would go to the bar Given my deteriorating health, a few pints, and a plate of fried pickles was not the most constructive response, but sometimes nothing soothes a fractured soul like the […]

What we value = the conflicts we endure


What we value = the conflicts we endure I want to share with you something I recently taught my writing students this week. All conflict, whether personal or societal, is simply a conflict of values. Take me, and most adults for that matter, we value hygiene. We value soap and toothpaste. My 9 year son […]

Meditation for men who don’t own yoga pants


Meditation for men who don’t own yoga pants September doesn’t stop. I told you last week how busy life is right now and how all this busyness has caused a lostness and this lostness makes me feel powerless. Lately, it feels like I’m just riding the September wave, tightening my jaw, gritting my teeth, hoping […]