Tag: mental health

Surviving shame: Learning to forgive yourself


Surviving shame: Learning to forgive yourself How do you survive shame? Forgive yourself. To gather research for my book I’ve been interviewing young men and asking, “Do you practice self-forgiveness?” After 62 interviews, 59 men interview said, “No.” When I asked why not, the most common two answers were: they were ashamed to they had […]

I turned 39.5 this week so I made a list of 39.5 things I still think are awesome


I turned 39.5 this week so I made a list of 39.5 things I still think are still awesome The other day Cindy kindly informed me that in 6 months I’ll turn 40. “You’re officially 39 and a half!” Like a piece of pound cake before bed, the thought sank and sat in my stomach […]

It’s the response that matters


It’s the response that matters It was a tradition of sorts. In the initial months following my diagnosis, after each doctor’s appointment, I would go to the bar Given my deteriorating health, a few pints, and a plate of fried pickles was not the most constructive response, but sometimes nothing soothes a fractured soul like the […]

What we value = the conflicts we endure


What we value = the conflicts we endure I want to share with you something I recently taught my writing students this week. All conflict, whether personal or societal, is simply a conflict of values. Take me, and most adults for that matter, we value hygiene. We value soap and toothpaste. My 9 year son […]

Meditation for men who don’t own yoga pants


Meditation for men who don’t own yoga pants September doesn’t stop. I told you last week how busy life is right now and how all this busyness has caused a lostness and this lostness makes me feel powerless. Lately, it feels like I’m just riding the September wave, tightening my jaw, gritting my teeth, hoping […]

To be found again


To be found again It’s September 11, 2019 and I’m 39. I’m in my writing room–writing– because that’s what I do and because the last few days have been hard. My children started at a new school. Cindy started a new job. And I am back in the classroom teaching. Our schedules are packed with […]

50 things (we hope) our children learned this summer


50 things (we hope) our children learned this summer Cindy and I are not the “Parents of the Year.”  We are just as confused, distracted, overwhelmed, stressed as other parents.  Most days we parent on a wing and a prayer and a beer. Most days we are frauds. Some days our children don’t shower. Some […]

Taking your own advice


Taking your own advice The other day my brother dropped 2 cords of firewood in my driveway. Though I appreciate the free firewood the problem is I have to haul the firewood, piece by piece, from the driveway to the deep corner of our backyard to 3-walled, roofed hut where the firewood is kept dry. […]

What is a pebble jar and why you should make one


What is a pebble jar and why you should make one Day 20 of the 21 Day Challenge required me to make a pebble jar. What’s a pebble jar? Literally–it’s a jar filled with pebbles. Or in my case, a jar filled with poker chips. Figuratively–each pebble, or poker chip, represents a measure of time. […]

How would you spend the last day of your life?


How would you spend the last day of your life?   Day 12 of the 21 Day Freedom Challenge required me to plan the last day of my life. This was the hardest challenge to date. It forced me to really think about how I would construct and spend the last day of my life. […]