Tag: life lessons

The Day the Girls Were Given Tampons


Our sixth grade teachers divide us into two groups: boys and girls. In the boys’ room, the teacher wobbles behind her podium and says words like penis, testicles, erection and sperm and I struggle to breath. I choke on my laughter. My face grows hot and my insides hurt and I’m pretty sure I’m going […]

The One Realistic Morning Routine That Will Make You a Better Person


We don’t have to engage in grand, heroic actions to participate in the process of change. — Howard Zinn Morning routines are all the rage. They set the tone and increase optimal achievement throughout the day. According to the ultra successful like Oprah and Tony Robbins — ice baths, hot yoga, soul-cleansing meditation, marathon journal sessions and frolics up […]

Let’s Take a Look at My 11th Grade Report Card


On a recent cleaning binge, my mom found my 11th grade report card stuffed in a file box along with old writings, homework assignments and a certificate announcing that I had passed Drivers Education class in August of 1997. I’m 37 years old, and a high school teacher now, and everyday I witness the enormous […]

A Moment with Tom Petty


When Tom Petty died I was suddenly 19 again, wearing headphones and slumped in the backseat of a rented minivan. Dad is driving, Mom is riding shotgun and my two younger brothers are tucked in the middle bench watching Home Alone on a TV/VCR combo dad had strapped to a milk crate to entertain the […]

“Hey Mr. Armstrong, did you watch any NFL games this weekend?”


The high school parking lot. America’s blacktop proving ground since the Model-T rolled off the assemble line and into our lives. The place where lines are still drawn, sleeves still rolled and disagreements still forcefully settled. So it only made sense that I was asked the combustible question, the question that packed C-4 between it’s […]

The World’s Greatest Lie Are you guilty of telling yourself this?


It was a tradition of sorts. In the initial months following my diagnosis, after each doctor’s appointment, I would go to the bar Given my deteriorating health, maybe a few pints and a plate of fried pickles was not the most constructive response, but sometimes nothing soothes a fractured soul like the warm panel walls, a […]

Why I Celebrated My Worst Day


When I decided to celebrate my worst day I had romantic dreams of baking a chocolate cake, coating it with vanilla icing and beautifully decorating it with some unabashed inspirational quote. Here’s what happened. It’s okay to laugh. Seriously. I know, it’s high fructose, high caloric train wreck. Just in case you can’t read it, […]

12 Things I Learned This Summer


As a teacher, my relationship with summer is complicated. I love being lazy at 10 am. I love long afternoons on the beach, watching my children build sand castles and dig for shells. I love impromptu BBQs and staying up past 11 pm on a Tuesday to watch reruns of The King of Queens. Yet, […]

Crossing the Line: The Birth of a Delusional Parent


It’s July and I’m standing along a sun-splashed sideline watching my son embroiled in a heated little league baseball game, sweating. Chase’s team mans the field. There’s a runner on first base. Two outs. They are losing 6-4. Chase is playing second base. He’s got a pair of black socks pulled above his calves, his […]

It’s called “The Alchemist” and you should read it.


If I could have a conversation with my 30 year old self it would go like this: “It’s called The Alchemist and you should read it.” “Why?” “Because you’re 30.  Because you’re foolish. Because you’re playing it safe. Because you think time is your friend. You yearn for the wrong things. You make half-hearted choices. […]