Yelling at the referee

I was the head coach of a boys’ high school varsity soccer team for nine years.

In those days, I was quick to yell the referee. Quick to criticize. Quick to question. Quick to verbally announce my presence on the sideline.

I felt if my players, the parents, the other coach heard me yelling then they would assume I knew what I was doing.

We are all guilty of yelling at the ref, at our kids, at the car in front of us.

We waste so much valuable energy yelling about things we’re not be able to change.

I have to ask–what are we hoping to accomplish with all our yelling?

As a coach, I never had a call overturned because I yelled at the ref.

I never felt great after yelling at a ref either. In fact, nine years later, I’m still a little embarrassed I didn’t possess the self-control a head coach needs to properly lead.

Be well,


Telling the truth with The Breakfast Club

The seminal scene in The Breakfast Club occurs when the five students are sitting in a loose circle sharing the truths of their lives.

For the first time in the film, each character exhibits the courage to be vulnerable and truthful with their peers, with themselves. And for that, each character matures and becomes a better person.

There is no action. No car chases. No gun fights. Just five people telling the truth–which sometimes in real life, seems as fictional and improbable as a Hollywood movie.

Be well,