I should feel more thankful than I do right now.

Thanksgiving is this week. Bedtime Stories for the Living debuts next week.

But as I write this from my bed, I’m struggling through my tenth day of Covid (despite being fully vaccinated and receiving a booster shot).

The fever and chills have passed but I will occasionally cough up a shoe, and most food tastes like air, and I’m averaging 3.5 naps a day. And because of this, my family and I will be spending Thanksgiving quarantined in our house.

I know despite this, I should be thankful for having a roof over my head, a pantry full of food, a healthy and loving family, Nyquil, Netflix, great friends, and two cars with gas in the driveway.

But sometimes I find thankfulness hard. I don’t know about you but anger and outrage and frustration and sullenness come easier to me than thankfulness. And when I scroll through Facebook on Thanksgiving and see people list all the things they are thankful for, I can’t help but feel guilt and shame. Like I’m not worthy to be virtual friends with such thankful people.

Yet I know thankfulness is right. I know appreciating the blessings in our life is how love is cultivated. How peace is found. I also know, thankfulness doesn’t have to be publicized. Thankfulness is private practice. And is not any of Mark Zuckerberg’s business.

I want you to know thankfulness is not coming naturally to me this Thanksgiving. Maybe it’s Covid. Maybe it’s the quarantine. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I need to get over myself. Maybe I need to clean the streaks of guilt and jadedness from my eyes. Maybe I need to work harder at opening my heart and being thankful for the gifts in my life.

I rarely hear thankfulness and bravery in the same sentence. But I’ve come to understand thankfulness takes bravery. And it’s not that I’m not thankful. I am. But right now, I’m a coward. Right now, with Covid still loitering in my chest, I’m not brave enough to be thankful.

This Thanksgiving, I wish you bravery. And reflection. And good health. And big love. And one too many slices of pumpkin pie.

Be well,

Jay

BLACK FRIDAY SALE!!!: Even though BSFL comes out December 3rd, as a big thank you for supporting me over the years, I have opened the Amazon store so Write On Fight On Supporters can purchase paperback copies of Bedtime Stories for the Living. https://www.amazon.com/Bedtime-Stories-Living-Jay-Armstrong/dp/B09L52B3LL/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

If you like this post, you may also like:

Look at what came in the mail

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Facing Fear: My First Vlog

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The Best of Times. The Worst of Times.

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Seven years of bad luck

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Introduction to “Bedtime Stories for the Living”

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Why I Need to Celebrate My Worst Day

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Jay Armstrong is a writer, speaker, and a former award-winning high school English teacher. Despite being diagnosed with a rare neurological disease, that impairs his movement, balance, eyesight, and speech–Jay presses on. He hopes to help you find joy, peace, and meaning in life. For Jay, a good day consists of 5 things:

1. Reading
2. Writing 
3. Exercising
4. Hearing his three children laugh
5. Hugging his wife
(Bonus points for a dinner with his parents and a beer with his friends)

Jay hasn’t had a bad day in quite a long time. 

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