Happy Diagnosis-versary!

Why you should celebrate your worst day

An MRI on September 4, 2013 revealed my brain damage.

If you have been reading write on fight on for awhile you know all about my broken brain and I don’t want to bore you.

And if you’re visit me for the first time–what took you so long?

Just kidding. Click here and read about my brain. 

See– in real life (which sounds strange because real life is all I write about) I rarely talk about my brain. I just don’t find it interesting.

Sure sometimes people will ask how I’m feeling (which I do appreciate) and I’ll say “good”, which is not a total lie nor is it total truth either, and I move the conversation along to another matter.

Yet, since I created write on fight on 5 years ago I have been writing about my broken brain, and its side-effects, non-stop. In fact, it was my health crisis that pushed my butt in the chair 5 years ago and forced me to write.

And because you took time to visit me here today–you deserve truth.

Here, I can tell you truths that I’m embarrassed or ashamed to tell you in real life. Here, I can say the things I would never say out loud. My writing is not therapy. It’s a way to better live with and understand my own contradictions. It’s just a way to be more honest. More human with you.

So I thank you for listening and sharing and supporting and writing back to me for the past 5 year.

Over those 5 years I learned some mighty lessons about loss and love. Parenting and marriage. Hope and writing. One of the most important lessons I learned– a lesson that I want you to know (and a lesson I might not tell you in real life…so listen up): your worst day might just be the best thing to have ever happened to you.

Seriously. The benefit of misfortune is when you survive you not only live to tell about it but you allow the misfortune to make you stronger.

And as the famous Nietzsche saying goes, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”

Recently, I learn about inflection points.

An inflection point is a business and math term used to predict trajectory. In life, the inflection point is, according to author John O’Leary— who as a child was burned on 100% of his body, “a moment in time that changes everything.”

We all have inflection points. Moments when we’re faced with either embracing challenges or running from them.

Whether it’s a brain MRI, a new job, a new relationship, or a sudden loss of a loved one, an inflection point is an opportunity to discover a new part of yourself.

You can either use the inflection point as a catalyst for changing or cowering.

I always celebrate my worst day with a homemade cake. This year I decorated it with sprinkles and “Life favors the brave”. 

This might be my best looking cake yet…which is not saying much. Believe me, I’m really trying.

One of my favorite things since I created this blog is that my friend, Deb Duaer, who was battling ALS read my first post about celebrating my worst day and she celebrated her diagnosis-versy with a cake and much better printing.

Deb has since passed.

But the fact that she listened to me and took my advice, advice I probably wouldn’t share in real life, means a lot. It means what I’m writing matters. It means someone is listening. And all of us are trying so desperately to be heard–especially those who don’t want to talk about it. 

So thank you Deb–for being defiant, declarative, and legible.

Also, this past week I removed a poker chip from the jar of 60 poker chips from the jar I have on my writing desk.

Each chip represents one month for the next 5 years– a physical reminder that life is brief and that each day offers extraordinary opportunities.

For me, the past month has had some inflection points: my good friend dying, my children completing a 50 day challenge, and an invitation I to speak at a National Writing Project event at Rider University in January 2020 ( which is pretty cool).

Life is marked with inflection points.Cool and uncool. Good and bad. Happy and sad. These points present extraordinary moments for reflection.

They remind us to appreciate and honor the time we have. That we can use our misfortunes as a positive, powerful forces in our lives. That we must remember to celebrate everyday.

Even the bad ones.

Even the ones we swear we’ll never recover from.

Be well,

Jay

PS–On September 4th I learned that something I wrote has gotten me into… let’s say– a little trouble. 

I can not go into specifics but I would like to say if I had the opportunity to write the piece again, I would write it the same way I did before. I believe in every single word I write.

I have never wrote to hurt.

I write to help others deal with hurt.

I write to better understand the human experience.

I believe my writing (in a small way, in a free blog kind-of-way) has helped people heal and recover and persevere and laugh and cry and gain perspective and ignite passions.

I believe in taking healthy risks.

I believe in the power of voice.

I believe in Write on Fight on.

My wife and I are not the “Parents of the Year.” But this past summer, for 20 minutes a day, we did parenting right. Check out what we did:

50 Things (we hope) our children learned this year.

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