Oranges (or raising a 10 year old)

~This is a new post~

An older woman with black-rimmed eyeglass and a red fedora is peeling an orange.

Her unpainted and clipped finger nails strip away the dimpled skin.

She didn’t know, or pretended not to care, that I was watching her peel and place both the skin and pith in a paper towel on her lap.

When the orange was clean, she ate, and read from a magazine that was spayed on the table in front of her and I thought about my daughter.

My daughter is 10 and layered now.

Most nights she keeps to herself. She reads or writes or draws or watches Netflix.

The other day I coaxed her into playing a game I play in creative writing class with my students.

We sat at the kitchen table facing each other and imagined we were on a beach together. Just father and daughter, laughing and trading the sensory imagery of a summer afternoon on the beach.

The caw of sea gulls.

A red bucket sideways and spilling sand.

Pink polka dot bathing suits running along the coast line.

The ocean roaring like a pride of hungry lions.

Sun screen grease between your fingers.

French fries.

My daughter at the bookstore.

It’s partly my fault. I often think– since my daughter is quiet she must be fine.

I often ask her, “How was your day?” She responds, “Fine.” And we move into our own private worlds.

Regrettably, I have never asked her “How are your really doing?” or “How can I really help you?

I know swirling beneath her silent, gap-toothed surface is a sea of questions. She’s 10 going on 11 and transitioning into a teenager and is both fascinated and terrified about what lies ahead. And I don’t know if I’m prepared for it either.

Growing up is a matter of dressing yourself in layers. To protect yourself. To hide your imperfections. To pretend your invulnerable.

I was once 10 years old and afraid and tried to make desperate sense of my rightful place in the world.

I should tell my daughter that finding your place is a life-long practice. And that most of us hide beneath our soft layers for safety and protection. Most of us are afraid of being exposed and bruised.

I should tell her that all you can do is find someone you trust. Be patient. And peel away.

Be well,

Jay

PS (Please Share) – If you know someone who is struggling to find themselves today please share this post share with them.

Did you enjoy the latest post?

Sign up to get every WoFo post delivered straight to your inbox.

Leave comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *.