You Can’t be Happy and Ungrateful at the Same Time: 50 Things from My Gratitude Journal

Happiness and gratitude are a package deal. You can’t be happy and ungrateful at the same time. Show gratitude and you’ll find happiness.

Dr. Robert Emmons, a psychology professor at the University of California, has spent his career researching the impact gratitude can have. Emmons stresses, “Gratitude is not merely a positive emotion; it also improves your health if cultivated. People must give up a “victim mentality” and overcome a sense of entitlement and deservedness.”

How often, in these hyper-speed times of ours, do we fail to slow down to appreciate moments and things that afford us happiness? How often do we feel discontented with our material possessions? How often to fail to give thanks for the gift of life?

In an attempt to grow my gratitude, to find new levels of happiness, I recently adopted the morning practice of writing down 3 things I’m grateful for. It’s nothing fancy. It’s just a pause every morning before the chaos of the ensuing day to acknowledge 3 things I’m grateful for. Some things are deeply personal and others are observatory. But all, in some way, have added to my happiness.

Here are 50 things from my gratitude journal:

1.The first sip of morning coffee.

2. A job.

3. Seeing my children smile on the first day of school.

4.That Paulo Coelho shared my review of his novel The Alchemist on his Twitter feed.

5.When old friends you haven’t talked to in awhile call.

6.That a healthy diet is relieving my chronic joint pain.

7. Inside jokes.

8.Talking sports with my dad.

9.Having a fair and honest work evaluation that provided meaningful feedback.

10.Sunday dinners with my parents and brothers.

11. My wife’s willingness to listen to my repetitive (and probably boring) work stories.

12.When former students return from college and visit.

13.Watching my parents teach my children how to play poker.

14. When strangers hold doors, smile and say things like, “Good morning” and “Have a good day.”

15. Bruce Springsteen’s “Thunder Road”.

16. Having people read and share my writing.

17. My parents making me get a job when I was 14.

18. Viktor Frankl’s memoir, Man’s Search for Meaning for teaching me that real hope only arises when we find meaningfulness in our suffering.

20. Amazon Prime.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
― Epicurus

21. Thank you notes.

22. The snooze button.

23. Listening to the staccato rhythms of my youngest son reading.

24. One of my students getting accepted into their dream college.

25. My son being voted Class President of the second grade.

26. Hot showers.

27. That my parents are still alive and have been married for almost 40 years.

28. Three day weekends.

29. The patter of my children’s rushing feet in the morning.

30. The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien for teaching me about the power and humanity of storytelling.

31. Seeing my daughter score a goal in her soccer game.

32. That my wife supports me.

33. Having the financial ability to pay bills.

34. The ability to write and tell stories.

35. Mousetraps.

36. Seinfeld reruns.

37. The Philadelphia Eagles for currently exceeding expectations.

38. Listening to my children invent and tell their own jokes.

39. The freedom of choose how I respond to any given circumstance.

40. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey for making me consider ways to improve upon my relationship with myself and others.

41. The Tim Ferriss Show podcast for reminding me that asking questions is a pivotal practice for growth.

42. Urgent Care facilities that are open late on Saturday.

43. Sam Adams Octoberfest.

44. Having a wood burning stove.

45. Falling asleep on the couch.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

46. Classroom laughter.

47. Classroom silence.

48. Well-insulated travel mugs.

49. Christmas wishlists.

50. My health.

Thanksgiving week is a great time to express gratitude. However, I’ve learned that sustainable gratitude is work. Like anything else gratitude requires daily attention, daily maintenance. This holiday season I hope you find time to focus on daily gratitude. It’s proven to boost your mood, deepen your relationships and if not for anything else — make you smile just a little bit more.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Be well,

Jay

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